When people find out that Emily has leukemia, the first question is almost always, “How did you know?”. To answer that here, I wrote, in detail, about the events leading up to her diagnosis, and I posted it on a new page, which you can go to by clicking this link.
Two days from now will be one year from the time Emily was diagnosed with ALL, so it’s probably not surprising that I’ve spent a lot of my recent time reflecting on the past year. Today especially has been a somewhat emotional day, because we attended our annual Co-op Valentine’s Day Party this morning, and it was right after this party last year that we took Emily to the ER at UCD. On the way to the party, I wondered how I would feel once there, and in fact, I started tearing up a bit as we passed the fast food restaurant we ate lunch at after the party last year. Yet once we arrived at the roller skating rink, I realized how –even though I now know Emily has cancer –today I feel less worried and anxious than I did last year when I had no answers as to what was going on with her.
At this time last year Emily was simply not herself, my instincts told me something was very wrong, and I was very, very worried. During the party I couldn’t hold back tears while discussing it with some of my friends, and I was on pins and needles waiting for the late afternoon when I planned to take her to the Doctor -again. Yet even though her diagnosis was devastating, it was so much worse not knowing what was wrong.
Today was a different day. Last year Emily couldn’t make it around the rink one time. This year she happily skated all the way around (it took ten minutes to go around one time!) and cried when I had to turn her skates back in. Last year she fell asleep in her aunt’s arms. This year she played and danced and laughed for two whole hours, then ran around in the parking lot with her siblings and cousins afterward. Last year she was as pale as a ghost and covered in bruise. This year her cheeks were flushed and the only bruises she has are the ones she earned by cheerfully, rambunctiously playing this past month. Last year she wouldn’t eat anything. This year she scarfed down a whole bag of popcorn, a cookie, half a bottle of water, and then came home and ate her entire lunch.
Today was a good day. Almost healing, in a way, because I was able to see a healthy(ish) little girl doing what she was supposed to do. And even though I know what she’s been through and what she still has to face, I have peace. Last year God was nudging me to keep seeking answers; this year I feel the peace that surpasses all understanding, knowing that God has always had the answers.
When we got home today, Emily was in such good spirits I had to snap a few pictures. Here are her and her siblings today
Please praise God with me that Emily’s IGg transfusions seem to be working! Her brothers and sister all came down with an illness last week, but Emily stayed healthy!